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scribblnitgoblin's bloody arrow missive caught by razenbred's hawk~~ [entries|friends|calendar]
some entire electrobeatnik alternate world

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[19 Feb 2018|12:33am]
i fell into a jordan peterson rabbit hole and i'm enamored with the language, describing the "blue church", liberalism as the benevolent(spoiling) mother and on and on
it's something i have been trying to sort out myself and hadn't found articulated very much--that we are in a jungian crisis, a failure of some of the most basic archetypes to be represented and that society itself has become an alchemical antiprocess
that the right has become the counterculture as it became clear that the left has withered away, was co-opted, forgot itself, assumed it had gained meaningful ground & relaxed, sold out, compromised, and let neoliberalism steal its language and base
an old friend described the alt right not as a destination or a complete/useful ideology but a phase to pass through
it sounded correct but i didn't know why until now

there is a synthesis deeply required, but it is the most detestable thought to anyone in an entrenched/partisan position, with any idea of a Them
it's really incredible to look at any popular argument after assuming no identity, after assuming that any externally prescribed identity is nothing except a way to generate taxes and fees and an audience for advertisements. it's hard to take much seriously from a position of negating curiosity, what's serious is what damn near nobody wants to handle, hasn't done the math on, hasn't ever had to or even been encouraged to.

we can take everything that hasn't worked for the past few visible decades and get rid of it. no, it wasn't because of those fools on the other side getting in the way--good ideas & powerful ideas aren't stopped by something as shallow as partisanship but it's a compelling excuse on a limited plane. we can take it, and break it, and pull out the hard beautiful pieces which /don't/ break, and use them to make collages of saints

"the intellectual darkweb"
now i still am more vaguely partial to leftist organization and i think it's unfortunate that almost everything i can find that self-labels as left is terrified of and disgusted by anything that superficially appears to threaten some imagined ideal order which is impossible to implement and would implode instantaneously
this is the precise failure of the liberal--a sort of blind spot directly ahead--it allows them to see a lonely genderblob but not the blood in the circuits of their instagram feed. it asks for a slice that has an equal proportion of all icing colors without knowing what efforts and costs are required to bake the cake, without wanting to know, and refusing to listen when told of entire categories of costs and efforts
the left is not willing to do the synthesis despite reality itself demonstrating the ideals cannot exist in a frictionless vacuum while operating in society.
the right is willing to make an attempt at that synthesis and unfortunately, with subtle & indirect encouragements from the incorporated forces, is ahead of the left while simultaneously hastening several of the forces they expect they are against(the synthesis is not complete, nor can it be, as it is performed in a soft vacuum)
the left has decided not to make comparable internal risks, and instead wishes to create a language to force everyone else to make those sacrifices for them, and refuses to synthesize, and instead wishes to make the entire rest of the world synthesize for them

"are you a liberal post-ideological blob or a conservative post-ideological blob?"
it's unfortunate because the visible left retreats into victimhood, and the actual left is called a russian troll by the visible left, and the actual left as perhaps one of the smallest political minorities is impossible to hear and see behind a stomping trigglypuff
i suspect the actual left has even abandoned the label and is already on a farm.

it's disappointing, because i don't see where the coherency could come from at this point
the left seems to insist on congealing into a puddle of an unidentifiable gender alphabet and petty economic complaints, unable to recognize the biblical struggles taking place around us, prescription lenses already crunched weak jaws registering irrelevant(but noisily), and wasting valuable fuel & time to spin out instead of picking a survival vector for this crashing ship
i would love to be proud of considering myself vaguely left-leaning but as it is, it has persuaded me only to look past and abandon ideological prescriptions. it wouldn't be a problem for me if i knew of other leftists making that effort, but i see a significant amount on the right doing that. echoes of those predilections will always remain but i would like to see a balance in that landscape and currently there isn't one.

shitty as trump is, he is not the villain in this context. the villain is everyone who refuses to honestly & concernedly ask how trump won, the villain is everyone who plans on waiting until 2020 to try again, hoping for a sliver of reform and doing nothing when they don't receive it.
freak out!

[17 Feb 2018|11:27pm]
it took more than a thousand years to arrange
we put it off for another million because someone sneezed incorrectly
it's not a big deal.

noise and trash(and lesser drugs like tv and alcohol) a way of life,
an entire era,
it's easy to make a mistake and takes a planet's entire lifespan to correct

it's only a mistake if there was an intended result
it's hard to conceive of an intent
it's a Great Mistake not to
it's a Greater Mistake to hold on to it
instead of bracing for impact

every day is a decision of a thousand years
colors can't be so bright every single day,
all sense and meaning would vanish
freak out!

[17 Feb 2018|05:46pm]
it's a good thing we've got all this pundit-air, newsentators' focus and cultural imagination to tackle the stuff that really matters, like russia(but not israel or saudi arabia) influencing our politics* and guns instead of wasting time on stupid shit like superlinear climate and the dozens of seneca cliffs our natural resources are teetering on while we keep squirting out more people.

ain't no problem too big to ignore,
ain't no problem too contextually irrelevant to avoid getting a 36 hour boner over, aggressively encouraged by Your Favorite Channel. if it persists for more than 36 hours be sure to smash that like, share & subscribe button and receive your complimentary dopamine/validation

hearing voices makes you crazy, hearing voices in an echo chamber makes you informed, and the voices in everyone else's chosen echo chambers makes them Backwards Idiots Fundamentally Challenging Progress And All That Is Good--if you don't want progress at all it breaks the program, and the fireworks are hilarious, but it ends up being more frustrating/alienating than useful.

*or, for that matter, why our political situation is so volatile and stupid that some bullshit on facebook was enough to fuck with it.
freak out!

[15 Feb 2018|10:32pm]
some kind of hibernation numb
no, there's no Great Reason
just tease and profit

it briefly broke when i was reading what color is your parachute and the despair i've been avoiding asserted itself
it was suggesting to use twitter, linked in, facebook. no, if that's what it takes i'd rather waste away
that is what did it--that i am at odds with what the world wants and that it is at odds with what i want
that i will have to fight to exhaustion for the /possibility/, probably to have it taken away by an inspector or local association or judge before it's legally prototyped
or i will have to do it like someone who everyone expects will end up on the evening news one day
and i started to wonder if any of it was even worth it. i don't want to work to their benefit and i don't see how to work to mine while avoiding the terrible realities--that is what did it

when it breaks, at least we will have an excuse
i guess even in hibernation i am more interested in creating a blizzard than a tower
i wonder less how about how things could be different and more about when i won't have to wonder anymore

it's a strange inversion of what i felt before i quit. that was hot, this is cold and i'm kinda mad at the weather that it's trying to be spring already
freak out!

bread & circuits [13 Feb 2018|12:16pm]
for christmas i want to binge on a show where the hero is not restless obsessive over saving an intrinsically valuable human life against a Moralbent Equalizer or preserving society against an Evil Xenotype
the thing that needs saving is an ugly bug about to go extinct or a tract of land about to be developed
the villain is not a maniacal awry case study, but the average industrialized idiot.

the hero is a great wave, a new pest vector, a satellite crashing back to earth before schedule.
freak out!

[01 Feb 2018|01:22pm]

my store was one of the test stores for OTS and a big reason i quit. feels so good to see this written down. i need to preserve this intense feeling of vindication in history, and to say "i fucking told you so". i might have been the very first employee to tell them that the system was ass and counterproductive, and the first one to pay the price.

in a month i am going to be a farmer.
freak out!

[11 Jan 2018|05:02pm]
the kind of day when the world has shifted
a job offer, and a 60F bicycle ride in what is supposed to be the middle of winter
freak out!

[07 Jan 2018|01:57pm]
Frictionless Fabrication and the Free Energies
freak out!

[09 Dec 2017|06:21pm]
"One of the traditional symptoms of sociopathy used by clinicians is a past of abusing animals. Now if we were to view our treatment of just our food stock it would be very easy to make the argument society is sociopathic. "
4 psychedelic snake-heads| freak out!

[05 Dec 2017|11:54pm]
"Cities are effectively human hives for disease, domestication, dysgenics, denudation, and decay. Highly unnatural structures. "
freak out!

[25 Nov 2017|11:36pm]
"Spectacle is a self-validating ideological force that presents itself through images and is constructed by capital. "
freak out!

[20 Nov 2017|03:23pm]
" What is hunger?

What do chickens eat when they are hungry?

If a chicken had lips could it whistle?

What are lips?

Who uses them? "
freak out!

[19 Nov 2017|02:21pm]
"The earth is not flat. Nor is it a sphere. Its obloid teseract. The earth consumes and spits itself out and exists in more than 3 dimensions. There is your truth."
freak out!

[18 Nov 2017|11:22pm]
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[18 Nov 2017|11:20pm]
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[18 Nov 2017|11:18pm]

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cease the means of production TODAY [18 Nov 2017|11:15pm]
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[18 Nov 2017|11:13pm]

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[18 Nov 2017|11:09pm]
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would anyone else like to share? [18 Nov 2017|11:07pm]

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freak out!

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